Lately I keep thinking of being a normal woman i mean yaa a woman not a girl, mature or immature? Being a woman by having a girl like 4-5 years old's mentality is tiring you guys knew right. We are 21 years old, and I found its exhausting and tiring to behave like 4/5 years old kid, it's totally a messed up. K no actually i narrowed this topic into a love topic, can I? I don't mind what people around me think what love is but for me love is not all about 'menguasai' or something like 'mengongkong'(?) or might be love is not all about 'mempunyai', get me or not? Love is nothing to do like we claimed he/she/something is ours, he is not mine while she is not yours and the thing is not ours. Get me?
In fact a mature person does not fall in love, he rises in love. The word 'fall' is not right lol. This is my random thought btw, you guys can spill out your opinion about love down there, I don't mind. Only immature person fall in love, they stumble and fall down in love, get what I mean?
Somehow they were managing and standing. They cannot manage and they cannot stand, it's like they find a woman and they are gone (read:blah), they find a man and they are gone too, so what kind of love is that?
They were always ready to fall on the ground and to creep. They don't have the backbone, the spine, they don't have the integrity to stand alone on their own feet. (This is basically me/sigh hm). Whereas, a mature person has the integrity to be alone, yes I mean ALONE, And when a mature person gives love, he/she gives without the strings attached to it, it's like he/she simply give the love. Get me or not? And when a mature person gives love, he/she feels grateful that someone has accepted his/her love. He/She does not expect you to be thankful for it, totally no!, not at all, he/she does not even need your thanks. Instead, he/she thanks you for accepting his/her love. Ahh can I just use 'I' instead of 'He/She' (sigh)
And when two mature persons are in love, one of the greatest contradiction or paradoxes of lifes happened! One of the beautiful phenomena will happen. They are together and yet they both are alone. Get me or not? Batin-ly, they are together yet zahir-ly they are not together, they separate, they both are alone. Yet, still they are together so much so that they are almost one, beautiful isn't it? Yet I'm currently find my strength to stand on my own feet. But their oneness does not destroy their individuality, in fact, it enhances it. They become more individual! They help each other to become more free. Free to go out with his/her friends, free to do anything that he/she like without his/her partner around. K just beyond my imaginary but still I want to write more because I assume my random thought sometimes is beneficial for me lol.
There is no domination involved, so takde lah hang cakap dia ni lagi power dalam relationship ka apa ka kan, and yes how can we dominate the person we love? I just think over it, sorry (sigh). And yes for me domination is a sort of hatred and anger and I can simple say domination is selfish. How can we at first think of dominating a person we love? I would love to see the person I love totally free, free doing whatever he loves , independently, just make sure don't flirt and don't forget me. No worry bby I will give you more individuality, get what I mean right? That's why people call it as the greatest paradox, they are together so much (they almost one person in two person) but still they got time for himself/herself. The other has enriched them as far as their freedom is concerned. Yes, freedom. You love freedom, ain't it?
While immature people falling in love (my old myself) destroy each other's freedom, create a bondage and they like making a prison for each other. Mature person in love help each other to be free, they help each other to destroy all sorts of prison/ kongkongan ahh whatever it is. And when love flows with freedom, there is beauty, right? Go and find your freedom and me will do the same, yet we are still one eventhough we are doing things differently and separately. Meanwhile when love flows with dependence there is ugliness, like we have been through before, ain't it? Correct me if I'm wrong.